In my last blog “Girl, drop that duppatta please” I mentioned that women are too conscious of their bodies and carry duppatta, fold their hands defensively or even otherwise bend forward to make their busts look less prominent. This causes most women to have a stooping irreversible posture and back pain issues later on in life.
I had concluded that while men like to see different bust sizes and figures of women, they should not make women uncomfortable. I have since stopped feeling guilty and started acknowledging my feelings and thought process as a man as of now.
While I wrote that blog for women I had thought of writing a blog for men too. So, here is one of the incident I wrote down as it happened when I let go of my urge to look at what my male mind wanted to see. When I read it again, it read like an erotica, so the title.
I am sitting in front of a woman in train. she is a middle-aged married fair maharashtrian working woman.. her voice reminded me of someone I know.. her dress is not revealing but… her bust size, a little larger than average.. her broad dress neckline barely above her cleavage .. her locket with a pendant the size which reaches right to where her cleavage should be.. her pendant pointing to where I want to see.. all add up to make me go crazy. The pendant keep getting inside and out of her dress neckline as she is moving forward and back while talking to her friend.. her breasts keep folding to change the depth and height of her cleavage bringing them above her dress neckline… the pendant again getting in between them and pointing my eyes towards it.. I am unable to resist my temptation to look at where the pendant wanted me to see.
She sees me watching her.. she realises what I am looking at… and allows me to look at her. What is driving me crazy.. is making her go crazy too. When I am constantly looking at her she covered those orbs with her sweater jacket realising what she is doing.. and hinting me to look away.. I comply.. and get into my mobile writing out this incident.
She has now got the taste of it and missing the attention her body was getting.. this time she has got a little bolder.. she is now looking towards me and into my eyes.. she is ignoring the fact that she is in a train.. that her friend, a female colleague is sitting in front of her and knows what is happening.. her friend too takes a brief look back to see who she is watching.. infact to checkout who is watching her.. I ignore them and continue writing and briefly looking at them in between.. they continue to talk about their professional topic, shopping, dresses and jewellery and general gossip.
They have now ordered food in train.. she is sitting cross legged on her seat with their food spread out in between the two of them.. she knows she has to bend forward to get each bite of her food. She is holding herself down for brief time in between to get my attention back.. I can’t ignore it and bring my attention from my mobile to where it is needed.. I continue to watch her while still writing everything down.. she is trying to keep her cleavage depth almost constant now.. but her getting up and down while having food while bending forward is making her pendant hang down loosely in her cleavage.. it’s driving me more crazy.. I realise that she is getting hot down there, as she is unconsciously pushing her napkin between her crossed legs.
She has got much bolder now.. she is now doing the unexpected.. unexpected from a woman who has never done it before.. she has bent down to get something from her luggage below while being cross legged on her seat.. and showing me almost everything that could be seen.. she does not care that they are open for everyone else to see too.. my sees cannot see the pendant anymore.. the pendant that was holding me to her is lost in what is at offer.. Nobody is looking at her.. everyone is busy with themselves.. or probably shy of looking at her directly. She has got much bolder than I can handle.. I am a bit wary now..
I know women get bolder when they feel safe.. when men can’t take advantage of her.. when she has the control..
While I write.. I have brought out the craving in her.. I have brought out the nature of her she does not know.. I don’t feel guilty.. man or woman.. the instincts are the same… but the nature is quite different.. “What drives men crazy about a woman.. drives woman crazy about men”.
While I believed I had brought out the craving in her.. she was the one who had the control now.. she was the one hypnotising me.. driving my attention in the direction she wanted.. and I let her do it..
Time for her to sleep.. she takes the top seat and sleeps with her head towards me.. so that her cleavage would face towards me.. She has got bolder and I realise that this would go all night.. she tried to bend down from top of her seat to talk to her friend below to show more of her cleavage..
I don’t look at her now. I do not want her to take it any further as I feel I have brought out this nature of her.. I have also not had a good sleep since many days of traveling. Probably, I am making these reasons because I have never taken things forward.. probably, I am really scared of women. Whatever the reason I ignore her and take the top seat with my head away from her so I cannot see her. At night I take a brief look at her.. she is asleep and covered herself well.
Next morning she got herself ready to get down to her stoppage.. she has the same dress but it is different now.. she is sitting erect so there is no more of her cleavage.. she has also added up duppatta to it so there is no more neckline to her dress.. she is back to the woman she has always been.. I never looked at her again nor did she look at me.. as if nothing has happened.. as if she was never the same person she was the day before..
We keep focusing on what we want and not what they want.. “What drives men crazy about women.. drives women crazy about men”.. show interest in their beauty and appreciate it..
We are left with only women in the name of beauty and we do not want to keep our eyes closed. We want to see what we want to see.. women know it too.. in fact they keep struggling with their bust sizes and competing for attention all the time.. more than we care about it..
As mentioned, women get bold when they feel safe.. when they are in control. So let them be in control.. when they are not in control and you try to move forward.. they become defensive.. and they may put you in trouble..
Even a beautiful woman is a big turn off to men when they are sloppy, disinterested or have a face frowning at nothing.. learn to make that face and have fun. And stop comparing your sizes. Though size does matter.. we get fixated on anything in a woman.. your back.. your neck.. your waist.. the picture on your T-shirt and how it is placed.. your dress and how it fits you.. your eyes.. your hairs.. your voice.. your smile.. your laughter.. the sound of your bangles and anklets.. your dangling earings.. it can be anything.
To everyone :
Men need to learn a lot from women. Most women already know about male minds instinctively. They are also more accepting of men’s antics.. or probably get used to it.. or stopped struggling with age. Women are also more evolved and talk openly and matter of factly on sex issues and personal bedroom stories among themselves than men. When men talk of sex, they either try to make it funny or vulgar.. that’s the only way they have learnt it. Men are also less accepting of women’s sexual needs. We need to understand that men or women sexual needs are same. We need to give them space to express sexually while feeling safe.
While the world we see is moving towards making laws stringent against men for protecting women.. the struggle between men and women will only make this world more restrictive and less fun for both sexes. It’s a beautiful world and we need to see more love everywhere.